How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize