i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
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