U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
