STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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