I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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