it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
