You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
