i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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