I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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