You made me cry and you don't even care
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
