We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
