i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
