The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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