There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it glows. i had to have it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
