We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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