she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
