i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
