it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize