I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
