I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There r osticjed everywhere
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
