hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
