Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
