I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Randomize
