i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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