I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
