Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
should my penis look like a turkey
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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