you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
