Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
