it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
