Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
