I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
