:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize