I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
