Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize