Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize