real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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