so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
