based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
