she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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