I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
