dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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