your thong is hanging out like whoa
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
