I looked at my own cervix.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
