Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
