Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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