So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
