Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
