In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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