hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
