Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Found your dick twin last night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
