get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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