It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You've changed since you got that strap on
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
