i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
