Yo dont text me then not text me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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