She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
