is your mom at the bar?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
