Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
