bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize