I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize