new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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