Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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