As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He has the fingertips of a God
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