what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
