He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
