good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
