I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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