i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
