If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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