i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
