Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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