At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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