goodnight i made you a song goodbye
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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