Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't deserve a penis
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
