I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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