Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
